I Am Not Your “Model” Christian

I grew up in the Baptist Church. I’m talking tambourines, huge choirs, 3 hour services, and church mothers. But that doesn’t mean anything because:

I don’t pray every day.

Most days, my prayers don’t offer up praise and thanksgiving. Rather, I ask a multitude of questions and wait patiently for answers. Sometimes it seems like they don’t come.

I don’t go to church every single Sunday.

Sometimes when I’m at church, I’m more concerned with what I’m going to eat after service than what the sermon means.

I crave the approval of others, and seek the validation from friends, family, and social media.

I get jealous very easily. I can also thank social media for that as well, to some degree.

I cannot quote scripture. At all. And the few verses that I do have memorized? Well, I could not possibly tell you where they came from. Except John 3:16. Everyone knows that one.

I can’t name all 12 disciples.

I don’t study my Bible. I don’t spend nearly enough time studying the Word.

Sometimes I think we as children of God are tempted to believe that there are set rules that we need to follow in order to be considered a true Christian. Going to church, knowing the word, quoting scripture, and proclaiming our faith to everyone around us means that we’re doing the Jesus thing correctly. Or maybe that’s just my perception. But the reality is there aren’t any set rules that detail what is good and bad (Well, with the exception of the Ten Commandments).

The struggle with good and bad is outlined in the book “Unashamed” by Lecrae, which I highly recommend. It details his journey to Christ, music, and where he intends to head in the future. The entire book is a testimony to how amazing God is, while addressing his battles with self-righteousness, his past, and the a future of God’s plan for his life. Reading that reminded me that this quest towards faith is not straight, it’s not clearly marked, and it’s not easy.

I am a work in progress, and always will be. Until about a month ago, I would’ve kept up the facade, pretending all of those facts listed above were not true to everyone around me and myself. Luckily for me, I serve a loving God, whose patience is so abundant that He allowed me to recognize all of this and put it on my heart to want to grow in Him.

As of today, I’ve started to pray every day. I’m still learning the best way how. I’m researching the best way to begin studying my Bible. Everything else? Still working on it.

Featured Photo: Norte Dame Cathedral


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